On August 30, 2002, several students
from Appalachian State University in Boone, North Carolina began field
testing an unique invention. The inventor, who wishes to remain anonymous,
developed this product after spending countless hours working with the
criminally insane. His only remarks are, “I felt so helpless.
These horrible people had committed violent acts and many were not caught
until after they had victimized so many people. Their neighbors were
often not aware of their dispositions. I wanted know everyone's true
nature.”
The personality detector was
first field tested by private firm located in New Jersey. They took
the personality detector to a maximum security prison where several serial
killers reside. The malevolent reading was maxed out.
On the way home from that days tests,
the evaluators stopped by a local comedy club for some rest and relaxation.
Chris Rock happened to be the standup comedian performing. John Doe
says, “I felt something in my pocket vibrating. I thought it was my cell
phone. Then I realized that it was the Personality Detector.
Its reading showed that Chris Rock was hilarious. I think so, too.”
The testers tried the device out on
several people volunteering in Bangladesh. The detector stated that
most of the volunteers were kind.
The Appalachian students were
testing the machine's ability to detect subtle personality traits.
The students traveled around the vicinity of Edwin Duncin Hall.
They found one student pounding on a Coke machine; that person registered
as grumpy. Another student found sliding down a rail was detected
as being silly and fun. Ditziness, and kindness were also located
near Edwin Duncin Hall.
The personality detector promises
to revolutionize human relations in the United States. Be part of
this social phenomena. This product is available from the Home Shopping
Network for only four monthly payments of $29.95 plus shipping and handling.
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